This may not be the most popular decision, but I'll do my best to explain what has just happened. I added a 7k consolidation loan to my list of debts. Anyone who's been following my story should be aware of the money suck that is my mother and the constant struggle between setting myself up for success and bailing her out for her failures. Apparently, she opened one of those solicitations with a ridiculous front-loaded interest rate. She asked me to apply for it, so that she could be rid of the payday and pawn shop loans. Now, she's done this before, so my immediate reaction was no. However, she seems slightly different now. So I decided to use this as final ultimatum to her. I went with Navy Federal since they seem to be pretty fair with their loans and the interest isn't front loaded, so if she pays more/quicker, she'll pay less interest. The stipulations are that she pays the loan back with set-up autopay of her account and she signs a written agreement that IF she ever takes another payday loan or pawns anything else, I have ZERO future finanacial obligations to her despite all her 'we're family/I'm trying to clean up my credit for a new job' guilt trips. I also get the jewelry she takes out since it's technically supposed to go to me. I realize that if she messes up yet again, I'll be on the hook for it, but I'm also okay with that giving this will be the last time I ever feel obligated to her.
Happy Mother's Day to her, I guess...
The Ultimate Ultimatum
May 8th, 2015 at 12:27 pm
May 8th, 2015 at 01:13 pm 1431090785
May 8th, 2015 at 01:46 pm 1431092760
May 8th, 2015 at 03:02 pm 1431097365
May 8th, 2015 at 03:22 pm 1431098521
May 8th, 2015 at 05:08 pm 1431104899
Ceejay, I'm definitely sticking to my guns. Anyone who overheard that conversation would have thought I was the mother with how firm I was. I'm just tired of feeling guilty enough to bail her out and then frustrated afterwards for not sticking up for myself, SO, and our future.
May 8th, 2015 at 06:16 pm 1431108985
May 8th, 2015 at 09:16 pm 1431119763
May 9th, 2015 at 12:18 pm 1431173887
May 9th, 2015 at 03:19 pm 1431184745
Mom's spending remains unrelated to her income and she displays no understanding of the difference between 'needs' and 'wants.' I had the impression that she soothes herself with 'retail therapy.' Sees something is likes and buys it for the momentary satisfaction. I suggest you help mom sell some of her excess on local Facebook sell page, CraigsList or free sites by showing her how to display, photo and write an ad or copy wording from other sellers. While it doesn't pay much, sending clothes, handbags and shoes that she no longer wears to consignment helps her focus.
May 9th, 2015 at 07:42 pm 1431200548