I can't even comprehend this. My mom has disappointed me before, but this time, I'm pretty sure it's irreparable (only in the financial sense, she's still my mom after all). She was borrowing money from her sister and asked if she could use the credit card I gave her for emergencies only to pay what she needed because my aunt's loan was being finalized. Although very reluctant, I agreed under the explicit understanding that she would pay the credit card off in full prior to the next cycle. Since I had not heard anything about it in a week or so, and she was still charging to it, I asked the other night. She said my aunt got less than anticipated and therefore, she could only pay about half of it back. EXCUSE ME?!?!?! I worked so hard for 6 months to get myself out of credit card debt and have not carried a balance since December of last year. I was really upset and tried explaining that as rationally as I could. Her response, 'well I'm sorry.' While I understand that, I knew I shouldn't have trusted her and she once again let me down. I made it very clear that this would never happen again. And as she hung up, she said 'I just won't rely on you anymore' in a sad, guilt-inducing voice. It only makes me madder that she's trying to make me feel bad for being angry at her!
I'm determined to never pay credit card interest again and since she messed up, rather than touch my emergency fund, I've decided that the remaining payment is coming out of the Vegas trip, specifically the money I budgeted for her to gamble with. This trip is for my mom and I want her to have a good time, but right now, I don't even want to be around her.
So upset right now
September 19th, 2014 at 04:08 pm
September 19th, 2014 at 04:26 pm 1411144012
September 19th, 2014 at 04:37 pm 1411144633
September 19th, 2014 at 04:56 pm 1411145788
Does she intend to repay you over time, or are you just out of luck?
September 19th, 2014 at 05:03 pm 1411146225
Can I be blunt? I understand the culture but helping each other is a two way street. Your mom has a long history of successfully getting others to be responsible and make certain she gets her 'wants.' With a CC in her hand she sees no reason for financial self control. There is a reason for her not having CCs of her own. There is a reason for her negative credit rating.
2nd it's important to wrest back the charge card you've given mom and notify the CC billing office that she is no longer an authorized user both by phone and email to create a paper trail...if that is your intention long term. Fact is, you know from long experience that mom will spend and count on others to pay...as she is successful with that behaviour. Perhaps mom can persuade aunt to pay your bill. It will be presented in that light even though mom did the charging! Sometime in the future you'll discover what was bought and why and it will make you angry all over again. Would it help to start every sentence with 'I love you mom, but I'll no longer pay your way!'
You know you were coerced into the LV trip by your manipulative mom. You had written a plan to pay off your car and created other streams of income to insure that goal. Instead you'll pay for brother's meals, mom's souvenirs, gambling and entertainment, sadly all short lived.
September 19th, 2014 at 05:25 pm 1411147555
September 19th, 2014 at 07:12 pm 1411153965
September 19th, 2014 at 11:10 pm 1411168258
I don't know anything about this trip you're paying for me, but if it was me, I would pull back and spend the money on things you want.
She may be your mother, but you are not her keeper, and as your parent, she should know better!
September 20th, 2014 at 01:28 am 1411176531
I'm sorry this happened.
September 20th, 2014 at 11:34 am 1411212896
September 21st, 2014 at 07:18 pm 1411327120