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Tough Decisions, Wedding Productivity, and More Spending

January 19th, 2016 at 06:36 am

This weekend, we booked the videographer. I also bought two veils and two jewelry sets totaling $52 off Amazon. I will be keeping one of each, and returning the one I don't choose. I also test printed the invites. They look pretty nice. Clearly done at home, but I couldn't justify $300 on something that will eventually go in the trash. The kits were $12, the printer ink was $40ish, the orange envelopes (so I can at least pretend they match my color scheme) were $12, and then whatever postage cost. I also plan to deliver as many as I can myself (about 10 locally and 4 to my family in Denver when I visit this weekend).

All of the spending has lead to some hard discussions with DF. I'm a few years older than he is and have been wanting children for a long time. We had originally planned to start trying right after the wedding, but DF brought up his concerns the other day that we have very little saved. It kind of caught me off guard, but once I processed, I realized he's right. As much as I want children, if I want to raise them in a situation that is different than how my mom raised us, then I need to wait until we're more stable. We agreed to split tackling my debts and savings with what we're currently putting towards the wedding (about $1500-2k/month) and reassess where we are at the end of the year (around my 30th birthday). I was so upset that I cried, but ultimately I think it will make our lives (and our future kids' lives) easier.

6 Responses to “Tough Decisions, Wedding Productivity, and More Spending”

  1. pjmama Says:

    We're trying to balance our own personal desires with what's best for our family now, too. It's been an interesting (and not easy) transition. We decided we wanted to enjoy our marriage for a little while prior to starting with the kids, as the transition into that alone comes with so many difficult conversations and questions (as well as saving up more).

    It sounds like you understand that it'll be worth it to wait, but a change of plans is upsetting either way. I hope that you get to a place where you're comfortable! It sounds like you're well on your way to building a strong, happy life together Smile

  2. ceejay74 Says:

    It can seem really hard to make those choices, but glad you two came to an agreement. I put off trying for a baby for about a year after we decided we wanted one, so I could get our CC debt within striking distance of being paid off and a bit of an EF built up. Hard, when I was so excited to have a baby, but definitely the right decision for the reasons you mentioned.

  3. ThriftoRama Says:

    Having money saved before kids is essential. Kids change your lives in so many unexpected ways, and honestly, they aren't cheap. You don't know how work/daycare, etc. will work out, or how much those hospital bills will be, or any other number of unforeseen complications. It's best to have a cushion. It's one less thing to worry about once the baby comes. If you aren't yet 30, you still have plenty of time. I didn't have my first until 33!

  4. debt-free by thir-ty Says:

    Thanks everyone. I definitely feel good about the decision (no matter how difficult it is), and I feel even better that DF and I can discuss things like this so openly and rationally.

  5. Ima saver Says:

    When my parents had me, my mother was 37 and my father was 45 and look at what a great kid I was!!!

  6. FrugalTexan75 Says:

    I've had to come to terms with the very big likelihood of no children. Some days the reality of that hits harder than others. When I was your age (and single) I had so many people tell me I was young and had plenty of time.

    I'm glad you and your fiance' still have time on your side, and that you came to a sound decision together.

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