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It's nice I'm not alone

September 23rd, 2014 at 11:44 am

Thank you all for the comments on my last post. It's good to know I'm not the only one who deals with this on a regular basis. I will take the card away, but I also monitor it very closely, and it was food, dentist bills, and insurance.

I'm a lot more upset that she made me feel like crap for being mad at her. I just wish there was a way to make her clean up her act because I know all of her burdens will one day fall on me regardless. She always says 'Parents take care of their kids when they're young and kids take care of their parents when they're old.' I think there's a reasonable amount of truth to this which is why I try to help out when I can so she doesn't resort to even more ridiculous measures which will effect me later on (like pawning the family jewelry...).

I'm still pretty upset about the whole thing to the point where I'm not even really looking forward to Vegas. But I have a pretty full (and cheap!) itinerary and it's mostly with my brothers, so I know it'll be fun.

3 Responses to “It's nice I'm not alone”

  1. Butterscotch Says:

    'Parents take care of their kids when they're young and kids take care of their parents when they're old.'
    -Do any of your brothers or sister help her out or is it just you? I dont like the idea that people have kids so that they have someone to take care of them when they are older. That sounds selfish. Like birthing a retirement fund or something.

    'I'm a lot more upset that she made me feel like crap for being mad at her'
    - is it also part of your family culture to make people feel guilty? My parents have never done anything except try to help me be happy. I thought that was how it should be...but maybe I am just lucky and that isnt the norm at all.

  2. wowitsawonderfullife Says:

    wow, I can't imagine asking my kids for financial support and I would be shocked if my parents asked me for money. In my world we want to leave money for our children. My will has set them up for hundreds of thousands after I die. Strange that we all have different ideas!

  3. debt-free by thir-ty Says:

    Wow, my mom makes very little money. To give you an idea, she raised the 4 of us on 25k/yr. While she makes a little more than that now, I still easily clear double her salary. She is back in school and job searching for something more lucrative. While I don't think she'd have much wiggle room, I do think she'd be okay by herself if she made some drastic changes. However, in her mind, she just doesn't make enough to cover all the bills, so she doesn't sacrifice as much as she should...That must be a great feeling to know that your children will be taken care of and that is something that drives my need to take care of this debt while I'm still (relatively) young.

    Butterscotch, I don't believe that was her reason for having us at all. She just hopes that one day, when she's old, we'll still be there to take care of and support her. I do believe that I will shoulder the majority of this burden as my brothers are not the most reliable either, but I do not actually mind as she is family and as she gets older, I'd like her to be comfortable and taken care of. For your second question, my aunts actually do manipulate my mom a lot, so I can see it a bit there. She's definitely proud of the person I've become and that I am (mostly) self-sufficient and trying to pave a better way for myself. I think she was taken aback by how upset I was, but this was just one time too many.

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