Just a quick check in, this week sucked. Like Klarose's friend, I have a family that is constantly asking for money, and I continually help even to my own detriment. My mom actually called earlier this week for $470 to catch up her personal property taxes. She offered to set up an $80/month direct deposit to me and to keep it open after the $470 is paid to start paying me back for everything else. I told her I'd talk to my husband, but then I knew it'd cause an argument, so I decided not to tell him. I called her back and while explaining that I hated her for putting me in the uncomfortable situation where I was keeping things from my husband, I burst into tears. I basically told her that if she had the nerve to ask for money again before every single cent was paid back, I'd change my phone number and essentially cut her out of my life because I can't tell her no and she can't stop asking me for money. She told me not to keep things from my husband and that she'd figure something out.
Of course, I immediately called my husband (still in tears) and told him everything. The next day, I took DD1 to the vet for his shots/wellness exam. Total cost: $500+. They checked his tail because it's been limp for a few months now and asked me to come in the next day for xrays.
Lo and behold, my poor baby boy (not so much a baby since he's 8, but still...) has bone cancer in the base of his tail. They'll have to remove it next week, but the chest and abdomen xrays don't show signs of it spreading, so here's hoping that the tail amputation will take care of it. Cost for that: $1400.
I still have to take DH's car in next week to see about the tire. Patching it would be ideal, but if it needs replacing, the cost would be $400+.
As if that wasn't enough, I found out last night from my brother that lives with me that my mom decided to cut me out of her life first and is now using his bank account's overdraft protection to cover the money she needed.
Rough Week
July 21st, 2017 at 12:15 pm
July 21st, 2017 at 12:27 pm 1500640064
July 21st, 2017 at 01:23 pm 1500643386
I am so proud of you for telling your mother how you really feel. It must have been very difficult and you must have been under a lot of stress with being asked for money and your loyalty to your husband. You did the right thing.
I hope your cat (?) is okay.
Your mother needs to learn how to take responsibility for her own life.
Hugs.
July 21st, 2017 at 02:49 pm 1500648588
July 21st, 2017 at 03:04 pm 1500649481
Good luck on the cat!
July 21st, 2017 at 03:13 pm 1500650019
Loan officers automatically increase everything. Fees for processing applications are added and much higher interest rates are automatically imposed. Credit card fees and interest rates go astronomical. All these extra costs drag down brother's ability to make choices...it's a horrible carousel. It's very difficult to stop. Mom has demolished the culture of family helping family by endless bail out. She know she will need to pay property tax, it's a repetitive cost. You'd be horrified at the percentage of income mom pays out in fees and interest on the debt carousel.
I hope you can convince DB to flat out refuse.
July 21st, 2017 at 03:46 pm 1500652003
Sounds like you did the best you could do given the circumstances.
July 21st, 2017 at 05:56 pm 1500659787
July 21st, 2017 at 09:02 pm 1500670959
July 21st, 2017 at 09:17 pm 1500671866
I think you were wise to talk to your husband and come clean. As for your mom, well, her true colors are showing. Since you aren't going to bankroll her, she has decided she doesn't' want anything to do with you. As hurtful as that is on so many levels, I am so very sorry. Sometimes the motto "No good deed goes unpunished" rings true. You were the good person and unfortunately you were stepped on and used.
July 21st, 2017 at 09:38 pm 1500673095
July 22nd, 2017 at 04:31 am 1500697918