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Holiday Shopping

December 2nd, 2016 at 05:23 am

I'm trying so hard to resist the temptation of holiday spending. Being the one who normally makes Christmas happen for my immediate family makes me feel like a failure for not being able to do it this year. I did manage to snag up several things on Cyber Monday for DH and our household, including a carpet cleaner, new filters to revitalize our vacuum, a Star Wars puzzle, posters for all the Star Wars movies (to hang in the office), discounted frames for the posters, pajama pants, and several thermal shirts for DH to wear in the winter (he works outside).

I've portioned out $300 of DH's extra paycheck for him to be able to buy gifts for his family. We also have enough points for 3 gift cards through our Marriott credit card (2 $25 gift cards and a $15 gift card). I also need to get one gift for each of my family members.

I feel bad because we're doing Christmas at our place so everyone can be together again, and my mom is worried DH's family will judge that there's not many gifts from my family. Honestly, I'm a bit worried about that too, but oh well. They are somewhat aware that my family is nowhere near as stable as they are, but I just hope it's not super obvious when their family has tons of gifts to open and mine only has 2-3 gifts for each person.

10 Responses to “Holiday Shopping”

  1. jokeabee Says:

    If someone is judging that your family gives less physical gifts than they do, that is a poor reflection on them, not your family. I hope that you have a great holiday and that everyone is too busy enjoying the gift of family time to be counting presents.

  2. creditcardfree Says:

    It's not about the gifts!! It's about the people and spending time together. Put emphasis on the laughter and the smiles. Take pictures, play games, bake together, make memories. Open gifts all at once rather than person by person...that puts less pressure on looking at the number of gifts.

  3. Laura S. Says:

    I agree; it is not about the gifts. The adults in my family don't even exchange gifts (Sometimes a gift will be given if there is some sort of unexpected windfall). It isn't due to finances either. We just felt the pressure was getting out of hand. As the others said, spend time together and make memories.

  4. CB in the City Says:

    Unfortunately, I think the people who give lavishly tend to be judgmental of those who don't -- this has been my personal experience, anyway. I agree with others that it is a poor reflection on them, not you. I hope your in-laws are not cut out this way. If so, hold your head high and enjoy all the non-material aspects of the day. Be proud of what you add to the day that is not wrapped in paper. Christmas really is not about presents, though many try to make it so.

  5. debt-free by thir-ty Says:

    Thanks everyone. CB, my in-laws are actually some of the kindest, most generous people I know, but I just am not sure what they'll think when we're opening gifts. I do like CCF's suggestion of opening all gifts at the same time to minimize scrutiny on any one person and their gifts.

    I think I may also try to do a group saran wrap or nesting box gift to involve everyone in the spirit of the holiday.

  6. pjmama Says:

    I of course would echo what everyone has already said - being judgmental of something like that reflects poorly on them, not you - but at the same time, your feelings are completely understandable. It shouldn't be a contest by any stretch, but less feels like less, and can often make us feel small. I agree that everyone opening all at once would probably minimize the focus. But also, perhaps you could introduce some kind of tradition (a letter included with the gifts, something personal, a donation to charity from the family as a whole) that brings the focus away from the presents themselves and focuses it more on the spirit of love and giving? Hope that's helpful, but regardless it sounds like it will be nice to have everyone together for the holiday

  7. MonkeyMama Says:

    I couldn't even imagine opening gifts with both our families. They are both just so different on that front. Good luck figuring it out!

  8. ThriftoRama Says:

    I'm with MM. That is something I can't imagine. And PjMama is very wise. Less can make you feel small. I hope this works out for you in the best possible way.

  9. LivingAlmostLarge Says:

    We aren't huge givers just because kids have everything. We tend to buy because we want something.

  10. Petert0204 Says:

    First of all Merry Christmas, buddy! And let people judge. At least you are trying to keep them happy. So just lie back a little and enjoy with family.

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