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Date Night & Destination Wedding Etiquette

September 23rd, 2015 at 07:22 am

Awhile back, I had bought DF and I tickets to Ed Sheeran (had I known he was going to propose, I may have just saved that money instead), so tonight is date night. Unfortunately, it coincides with the Pope's visit, so traffic is probably going to be a mess. Expenses include doggy day camp for the pups (my equivalent of babysitting: since we both are working and then going to be gone for the concert, I didn't want them to go stir crazy) and dinner (going to try and do HH somewhere so it's cheaper). I joked that we only had the budget for one shirt, so we'd have to share it to which DF responded 'You can just get one for yourself...so long as it's a medium...' Smile I don't go to concerts often, so I like to have the shirt as a tangible thing to bring back the memory, but we'll see how dinner shakes out.

For those who've had/attended a destination wedding (looking at you VS), did you (or the hosts) plan additional events around it? Since the wedding is 100 people, I was only planning to invite the bridal party to the rehearsal dinner, but all of my research indicates I should host at least one other meal as a thank you to everyone for attending. I was originally thinking a picnic brunch the day after the wedding. DF shot that idea down saying once the wedding was over, it was done. I still think we should do something, so my new thought was to still limit the rehearsal dinner to the bridal party/family, but then have an informal evening cocktail hour with some light apps. Should I also arrange some sort of excursion? I'm not sure what's the best way to show my appreciation for everyone's presence without going totally broke to do so...

9 Responses to “Date Night & Destination Wedding Etiquette”

  1. SecretarySaving Says:

    Are people staying at the same hotel as you? Will there be a continental breakfast available that the hotel provides? Think about getting a tour guide who has a driver to take everyone on a morning sight seeing tour. You could visit, museums, landmarks, shopping areas and in the tour bus the guide can give everyone history on the city and culture. The guide can have a cooler filled with water bottles incase it is hot. Maybe a game of pool volleyball. Those are my ideas.

  2. Livingalmostlarge Says:

    Nope we invited them to the wedding and left them to their own devices and EVERYONE loved it. But who doesn't love an excuse to go to hawaii? Seriously everyone who wasn't paired up had a great time anyway since it was only close friend and family.

  3. VS_ozgirl Says:

    We invited everyone to a dinner the night before the wedding however we didn't pay and everyone was fine with that, it was a lovely night and people were free to eat & drink as much or as little as they wanted. We did wedding stuff in the day and spent as much time in the evenings with friends and family. After the wedding we then went off on our honeymoon (20 mins away) and spent time alone. I think everyone felt like we spent plenty of time with them

  4. Butterscotch Says:

    As someone who had a destination as well as attended several, I will say that no, you don't need to do an additional event. Especially for such a large group. I would probably want the extra non wedding time to myself with my husband to explore on our own - without having to keep with a schedule beyond the day of the wedding. Just my two cents.

  5. PatientSaver Says:

    Gosh, this all sounds expensive.

  6. VS_ozgirl Says:

  7. VS_ozgirl Says:

    I was writing this morning while I was in a rush, so I'll just add a couple of things to my comment earlier. Like your DF, our rule was once we were married it is time to spend quality time together, but we were staying with family before the wedding so we paid to stay at a hotel 20 mins away. The wedding night we said goodbye to nearly everyone (except family we were staying with, we said it when we were leaving the next morning). I believe if you are inviting people to a destination wedding you should spend some time with them because after all they have travelled to see you on your big day. But our rule was on the wedding day we cover the costs, before the wedding day we are seeing you socially, we'll cover our meals and drinks, you cover yours. However we didn't even have to say that to our family and friends luckily. I think an excursion may be a bit much.
    Are you planning on getting beautified at your destination or earlier? I actually got my nails done, spray tan done there, and had to meet the makeup artist to do a trial run and meet the hairdresser to do a discussion of what I wanted.
    How many days are you there prior to the wedding?
    My advice is spend time with your guests in the evening, it will be a good way to de-stress because you will be busy and there's nothing more relaxing than having a nice meal with your family and friends. Make the things you organise be as casual as possible so it doesn't look like you are covering their costs, and also so you don't have the burden of organising - eg tonight we will be at this place around 7pm, feel free to come to dinner too if you want. My friend's destination wedding we went to earlier this year, we went to a night market the night before leaving on the cruise. It was fun with a nice band, and we were free to eat and drink what we wanted. Check out restaurants with them. And then you will need to spend your daytime doing wedding stuff.

  8. Debt-free by Thir-ty Says:

    Thanks everyone for the input!

    It's sounding like I'm making a mountain out of a molehill. Sedona has plenty to keep people occupied. I'm just struggling to make sure everyone knows how much we appreciate them making the effort to join us. It's also really difficult to coordinate the logistics of 100 people getting together informally which is why I feel like I have to coordinate something.

  9. VS_ozgirl Says:

    Might be easiest to just invite everyone randomly to socialise but not coordinate - you're going to be doing enough of that on the wedding day

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